Loneliness/LOVE

Ahh, god what is wrong with me. I feel so fucking alone. I have no thought what so ever of what to do. I have a few that are there for me, Ive spoke to them all. All of about 3. I feel so alone though, depressed at times. I strongly believe I'm in a stage of my life where I have to grow up and take responsibility for myself and just try and make it through and I WILL over come this. All it takes is time, and I am getting through it.

Anywho.


There' is this girl.
I L♥ VE her with all my heart. If I was knowledgeable of a word that could replace Love with something stronger, I would say that. I mean there's nothing more I would want then to be with her for the rest of my life. I think she's the most beautiful girl I have ever met, inside and out, the most amazing girl on earth. She DECIMATES THE WEAK, she just obliterates any girl. No girl can be compared to her. She's not the nicest person, nor the meanest, it's just right though. I want to grow old with her, I want to fall in love with her. I want to be just right for her. She is my everything. She's my first thought and my last. She's like heroin, I don't think I can ever get enough of her. She's always there for me no matter what, and I will always be there for her, no matter what. I really hope nothing ever gets between us, that she will never disapear, or nothing ever happens to her. I really don't know what I would do, I think I would go insane and just literally explode into little peices, no not really. I think I would just do about anything for her, she's the sweetest, and cutest girl ever, she knows what exactly what I want to hear. She knows me inside and out, backwards and sideways. I'm just about figuring her inside and out. I sometimes doubt my knowledge of her and think bad. Im not sure why I do this but i sometimes do. I have learned not to and I am starting to make things better then they are, as in making good even better. I am proud of myself! Sometimes I wish I was just like her EVERYTHING. But that's just wishing too much, right? One day ill be close to that, when we finally move in, and get married. We'll be eachothers life. We wont be one of those couples who dread their relationship because they have to worry about always having to be with eachother, we wont be one of those couples who just go to dinner and have a serious conversation and just stare at eachother all day, we'll be one of those couples where others look at and just go "oh im so jealous, I wish I had that." She's my best friend and the love of my life. I don't want anyone else but her. Just hopefully if she ever reads this, she wont think it is too "unauthentic."

Well time to go run more errands/chores/ETC.

Bye!